~I stood by your bed, shaking from a nightmare. I watched you sleeping peacefully and hated to wake you up, but my tears won out. My little childish hand tapped your shoulder and you opened your eyes, weary like only a mother’s eyes can look. You turned back the covers and wrapped your arms around me. I told you of my nightmare. You told me that God was bigger, then you sang “Raindrops On Roses” to me until I fell asleep.
~I paused at the door to your room, I knew you weren’t feeling well. But I needed you to tell me everything was okay. So I knocked and heard you say to come in. I curled up on your floral quilt, tears running down my teenage face. Broken heart beating in my chest, I told you about the boy I loved who did not love me. You put an arm around me and told me stories of the ones you thought you loved as a kid before you met dad. And I knew I’d be okay. God was bigger and He had plan.
~I held a pillow over my face trying to muffle the sobs. My world felt like it was caving in, but now that I was older, I refused to admit I needed anyone. You knocked on the door, I peeked around my pillow and you saw my weary eyes, eyes only a girl trying to find her place in this world can wear. You sat beside me & put your hand on my arm. Your eyes filled with tears and you said you wished you could take the pain for me. You reminded me that God is bigger. And I knew I was not alone.
I’m approaching 30 now. I still have nightmares, I still get my heart broken, I still don’t always know my place in this world. I still sit beside you and cry sometimes.
SO HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO THE WOMAN WHO STILL TELLS ME THAT GOD IS BIGGER AND HE HAS A PERFECT PLAN. I’LL NEVER STOP NEEDING THAT.