Inspiration

I DON’T WANT US TO WASTE OUR PAIN

Almost 10 months ago, I wrote these words:

“I stand frozen, blocked off from the world until I have something to offer them besides tears and fears and broken pieces…..I can’t heal when I am sick and I can not feed others when I myself am starving. I have to turn away from the people around me because I can not stand having nothing to give.”

Reading this paragraph tonight, I shudder at the feelings that still linger around the edges, the loneliness, the hopelessness. I still taste the lies that rested on my tongue and the fear that drove my fingers over the keyboard. I still know these words well because I fight them every single day.

I wrestle with the belief that sharing my weakness will make others weak. I battle the fear that my sadness will make others depressed. I fight the lie that being strong is always what other people need from me. But what if my weakness gives someone the chance to be strong for me? What if friendship is sealed through tears? What if they really want to hold me while I fall apart? 10 months ago I believed I had nothing to give because I had no strength to offer others, but what if my very weakness and need was something to be given?

I say “What if” but really I don’t mean it. I am not asking “What if?” now, I am stating “I KNOW!” I KNOW that offering someone my heart, bruised and hurting is a gift to them. I KNOW that crying in front of a group of people may be the most real and true and healthy thing that happened in that day. I KNOW that God’s power is made perfect in my weakness and I KNOW that I do not want to rob others of seeing His power by hiding my struggles.

I KNOW THAT I HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE even if it is gift wrapped in tears. I KNOW THAT AN “I NEED YOUR HELP” IS SOMETIMES THE GREATEST & TRUEST THING YOU CAN OFFER A FRIEND.

I am learning. Will you learn with me? I don’t want us to waste our pain anymore! I have come to admire those who allow even their broken pieces to become a puzzle that they open up and allow others to help fit together. And though the pieces  will never, this side of heaven all find their place, it is a community effort, it is a bonding experience, it is life. Good life.

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13 thoughts on “I DON’T WANT US TO WASTE OUR PAIN

  1. This is all very relatable for me. The way I see it is, I don’t feel the need to tell someone the things I am struggling with. I don’t want them to feel like they need to fix me, or the situation. I don’t want to be a burden to them. It’s a working progress for me when it comes to opening up to certain people, but I’ll get there. Great post! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I TOTALLY get that girlfriend! You sound exactly like me! And I don’t think we have to spill our guts to EVERY person, but if there is someone we can trust, hiding our hurt, shame and struggles hurts us both. Sometimes we have to be super honest and explain that we don’t want to be fixed, we just need to have someone walk through it with us. And the reality is that sometimes people don’t respond the way we would desire but it makes it no less important to make being vulnerable and open a way of life. It changes us for the better even if nothing else!
      THANK YOU for you open and honest comment! I totally relate to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I like it. Resonates with something I preached last week about it being okay, even something we should expect – to weep with those who weep. I asked the question of whether we know how to BE when someone says “You know, this week has been hard, and the hardest part is not knowing why”?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sounds like a fantastic and needed sermon! Life gets real when we are honest with each other and I think that is where the most good happens! Thank you for your thoughts on this!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Such a powerful post, Mara! And yes, I do want to learn with you. I am learning every day, and I think the message to not waste our pain is profound and necessary. Many people, it seems, do not recognize the power behind using pain in life, rather than blaming it, hating it, hiding from it–or worse–blaming God for our experiences. Pain is a gift, despite how that might sound to someone in the middle of a battle. Reading this was quite refreshing and inspiring. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you again for your thoughts, Lance! You always get exactly what I am saying. And the “Many people” you are talking about are me! 🙂 But as you said, I am learning every day!

      Liked by 1 person

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